Part of the reason was that I started from Jael's POV. She focused on different things that Jacob did in the previous drafts. Naturally I'll need to go back and make a few more refining passes, add in more details and sense words but what's there is totally different.
I cut out most of Jacob's clowning around. He's not acting like a grown up, yet but he's less goofy in this chapter. He's more opaque to her, interestingly enough. Then I put in an 'moment' between them. A little jolt of electricity that Jael felt this time. Confused the heck out of her...and me, to be honest.
Anyway, we'll put up the revised chapters for critique after some more polishing next week. We'll see if folks like this better. Tonight is IM gaming night but Friday I should be able to get the new Sorcerer scene done. Should be good stuff.
Final thought, I use ellipses too much. I need to work on that. I like pauses in conversation, though. It feels more natural. Real conversations are full of interruptions and pauses. On the other hand, this is a novel. It needs to be readable as well as real. Too much of a good thing is still too much.