I finished chapter 14 last night, or at least this draft of it. I gutted the first page. It reads better, now and still ends pretty strong. It's a very 'internal' Jael chapter. I'm not sure if I should hang a lampshade on how much internal dialog Jael does or if I should start cutting. I think it's important and hopefully useful, to be that far inside her head. I don't think I could write this novel without it, in a way. I need to get inside Jael's head. I need to know how she thinks and how she feels about stuff. So even if I end up cutting some of her internal dialog, I'm glad I wrote it.
This chapter is another where Jacob's image of her is altered by the truth and it's an unpleasant truth. The first was her age. The second was her nakedness (though that was far from unpleasant it still caused Jacob stress). This is her heritage. Where Jael's horns come from.
Jael herself isn't proud or happy about it, either. We see a little of her attitude towards her mother, her fears of disappointing her and her disappointment with her. Her father,or other parent, more accurately, isn't mentioned by name. Just by type. A beast. Jacob is pretty shocked and Jael finds herself trying to justify herself to him. That's a pivotal change in their relationship and I hope that comes out. Before, Jael was the superior one in the relationship. Now, Jael is trying to more or less win Jacob's regard back. I hope I made it clear. When I describe it like this, it sounds bald and jarring. With a little luck and a little art, it will read more subtly.
In any case, the last pages are a real delight, ending in a cliffhanger as a very serious threat pushes Jael, Jacob...and poor Beauty the donkey. I still will probably massage this chapter quite a bit but the last page or two is good, solid stuff, I think.
This chapter is another where Jacob's image of her is altered by the truth and it's an unpleasant truth. The first was her age. The second was her nakedness (though that was far from unpleasant it still caused Jacob stress). This is her heritage. Where Jael's horns come from.
Jael herself isn't proud or happy about it, either. We see a little of her attitude towards her mother, her fears of disappointing her and her disappointment with her. Her father,or other parent, more accurately, isn't mentioned by name. Just by type. A beast. Jacob is pretty shocked and Jael finds herself trying to justify herself to him. That's a pivotal change in their relationship and I hope that comes out. Before, Jael was the superior one in the relationship. Now, Jael is trying to more or less win Jacob's regard back. I hope I made it clear. When I describe it like this, it sounds bald and jarring. With a little luck and a little art, it will read more subtly.
In any case, the last pages are a real delight, ending in a cliffhanger as a very serious threat pushes Jael, Jacob...and poor Beauty the donkey. I still will probably massage this chapter quite a bit but the last page or two is good, solid stuff, I think.
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