I finished chapter 9 last night in about an hour. Yeah, it's definitely two chapters, not one. The second half has some good character stuff, though Isaac is coming off as an ass. That wasn't my original intent, so I need to do more work there on his character. Isaac was supposed to be the hero-who-could-have-been. If he'd chosen differently, if Jacob had not risen to the occasion, it might be Jael and Isaac on the road to the Great Eyrie. As it is, Isaac is coming off as childish, which is appropriate on the one hand. Part of what this story is about is choosing to take that step from childhood to manhood. Isaac wants to stay a child.
So on the one hand, Isaac's annoying but on the other, he's realistic, I think. There are plenty of 14 year old boys who run around, make noise and have no respect for other people. I used to know boys like Isaac, maybe used to be one. But what I'm not getting across is Isaac's potential, his good qualities. On my next writing pass, I want to work on him more, really dig deep and improve his, and other people's, characterization.
Otherwise, there are some rough spots but it feels better now after reading it aloud and correcting grammar and dialog. The dwarves the boys and Jael meet speak in archaic, 17th century English. I didn't want to do real dialect or accents, that always feels false and forced but the archaic speech works. I particularly like the dwarven leader, but I'll need to change his name tonight. I modeled him a bit on Brian Blessed (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Blessed), who is the world's tallest, loudest dwarf as it is.
Tonight I'm going to a movie but I'll try to get chapter 10 done anyway.
So on the one hand, Isaac's annoying but on the other, he's realistic, I think. There are plenty of 14 year old boys who run around, make noise and have no respect for other people. I used to know boys like Isaac, maybe used to be one. But what I'm not getting across is Isaac's potential, his good qualities. On my next writing pass, I want to work on him more, really dig deep and improve his, and other people's, characterization.
Otherwise, there are some rough spots but it feels better now after reading it aloud and correcting grammar and dialog. The dwarves the boys and Jael meet speak in archaic, 17th century English. I didn't want to do real dialect or accents, that always feels false and forced but the archaic speech works. I particularly like the dwarven leader, but I'll need to change his name tonight. I modeled him a bit on Brian Blessed (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Blessed), who is the world's tallest, loudest dwarf as it is.
Tonight I'm going to a movie but I'll try to get chapter 10 done anyway.
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