Well, I could make excuses about my commute home; how the bus engine caught fire and I had to wait to take another bus. How I was crammed in so my knees got banged up and bruised on that standing-room only ride. I could tell you all how my computer freaked out again and I had to reboot it just as I was opening my draft for revision. How tired I was and worn out after work. Those would all be true tales.
But behind that, is the fact that I chose not to dive into writing. I, instead, started playing a video game and before I knew it...well, I knew it but I didn't stop...it was too late to get any work done.
That is all my fault. I know better. But knowing isn't doing. I know what to do but I don't always do it. I'm like Alice in Wonderland in that respect.
I was thinking about that today. I will need a new laptop soon-ish. I don't want to risk losing my work so I'm backing up to a thumb drive right now. But when I get a new laptop, I'm not going to put any video games on it. That's not going to save me from the internet and flash games and the like. But it might help. It might help having a dedicated writing laptop that doesn't have all this extra distracting crap on it. I can keep one laptop in the living room, for games. And another for writing and writing only. Or I can learn some fuckign self-disclipline.
Sigh. The war is never over, not for me. I don't think it ever will be. I will always be fight distraction and procastination. But I WILL keep fighting because writing is...Well, I can't say its the first job I've ever had that I loved. I haven't gotten paid for any of this so far. But I DO love it and you stick with the things you love.
I just wish I didn't also love video games.
P.S. The game is Shogun