Gotta make this quick.  Work is breathing down my neck.  I finished chapter 2's re-write (the fourth) last night.  Reads better, now.  Probably still not perfect but I like the ending of the chapter better.  Needs more page hooks but that's for the fifth draft. I've been battling semicolons for a while.  Think I've got a handle on them, now.  We'll see how much I've learned when I go through this draft.  Large number of pages to go.  The goal is to keep things moving in this draft.  May need to cut chapter 2 some more.  Possibly I should break the chapter in two and the hell with breaking the structure I created.  I heard screenplay is structure.  I'm not writing a screenplay, though.  I wonder if that goes for novels as well.
  Got a notification that Dave Wolverton is teaching a novel editing workshop in April.  I'd love to go.  Rewrites are one area of craft I'm still learning.  Not sure about paying $700 + flight + Hotel, though.  That pushes it well past the one grand mark.  One of the things that digs at me is there's a $200 fee tacked on for him to edit your first few chapters.  Not sure I like that.  I guess I should see what it would me to have someone edit the whole book.  Still, I'd rather learn how to do it myself rather than have someone else chop it up.  No other way to learn.  I'm a hands-on kind of guy anyway.
  Back to the grind.  Going to slice and dice chapter 3 tonight.  See if I can make it better.  Here's hoping.

  I sent out my first few pages to a couple of professional writers and agents I met at World Fantasy.  They were kind enough to be interested in an aspiring writer and asked me to sent them the first few pages and a brief story outline.  I haven't heard back from either of them.  At first I thought it might be because of the holidays or other time commitments.  However, I was re-editing my fourth draft with an eye towards tightening things up and I think I know why I haven't heard from them.
  It's not perfect.
  It had errors.
  I don't think they wanted to give me 'bad news'.
  The ugly truth is that Angel Odyssey isn't as good as it could be.  I knew that but I thought it was 'good enough' to show people.  It's not.  It needs to be better.
  So I started editing chapter one again, trying to look at it with fresh eyes.  And lo and behold, I found things to cut and correct.  I need to be doing this.  No one else should be editing my work yet.  Not until it IS as good as I can make it.
  You see, I was blinded by all the good comments I got on chapter one from critique group members.  And, yes, there is a lot in chapter one that works and that pulls the reader along.  But those engaging bits are NOT in the first four pages.  And that's where I need the most work.
  So. No more submissions to agents, writing groups, editors and the like until I think it's perfect.  Chapter one got a good going over on Friday.  Tonight it's chapter 2's turn.

  I got some feedback on the third draft of chapter five and people seemed bored with it.  I don't know if everyone feels that way but its troubling.  Other readers thought there were too many, I don't know, sex-obsessed men chasing after Jael. That there weren't enough normal men, women and children.  That's not entirely true but it's feedback from someone who's judgment I think I trust. (At the very least she can write, so it's harder to discard her feedback)  It's discouraging.
  Steven Pressfield (http://www.stevenpressfield.com/) would say that kind of feedback feeds the 'Resistance' inside me.  It does make me discouraged but I have to fight through that.  If the book's not as good as it can be, I have to make it better.  No one else can re-write it for me.
  Oh, but I want to start writing something else!  All this editing and critiquing...it's not as much fun as just writing.
  Ok, new game plan:
  I'm going to start working hard on the fourth draft  I was already planning on picking up the pace.  Now I'm going to do that and modify the urgency and the nature of the threat to Jael.  It will also strengthen my main villain.
  But you know, I kinda like the way I wrote it originally.  It felt more organic and natural.  The threat to Jael coming from the very people she's sworn to protect, people she's constrained against harming.  I liked that.  But we'll see how this new draft reads.
  One good thing about this, it'll get me writing, even if it's just re-telling the first few chapters.

Sorry for the missed day.  Seattle had a ton of snow dropped on it and work prior to the blizzard of doom was intense.

Writing-wise, I finished the second draft of Angel Odyssey. I'm still not sure about the ending but I think the denouement works.  Sort of.  I keep wanting to do the final chapter, after Jael's good-bye, from Jacob's POV.  So we can see how he changed.  On the other hand, I think Jael's last line of dialog works pretty well as an echo of the first line of dialog. Gripping hand, if I put in a prologue, maybe I should change the ending POV as well.
  Oy.
  Well, third draft is underway, up to chapter 6 there.  And I'm doing the fourth draft as well, this is the one I'm showing professionals in the writing biz.  Lots to do but I'm pretty sure I'll have the third draft done in a few months. Then the fourth draft will follow, adding in all the world details and amping up the threat early.
  The ugly truth is, though, that I'm going to have to re-write chapters 3,4 and 5.  I need to tear them down, increase the pace and threat and get the plot moving faster.  And I need to do that without sacrificing the world-building that I've done.  (Because that is well done, in my own humble opinion and in the scattered opinion of early readers).
  Ok, enough blowing my own horn. Time to give my manuscript a humm- er, um...HUMdinger of a re-write.
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  I just got my first feedback for the novel as a whole.  I can't tell you how good it feels for someone to finish one of my books and tell me how much they want to read the sequel.  Ahh, so good.  The reader comments were all pretty positive.  She liked Balt and Bolan the Black.  I was worried about how Balt was coming off.  I made her cry twice, where I'd hoped to.  Hopefully I made her laugh as well, at the right places.
  She also suggested I get the 'show on the road' earlier.  Damn it.  She suggested cutting chapter 3 and four and starting with chapter 5, on their way to town.  I can't say I completely disagree, though chapter 4 still remains one of the better-constructed chapters.  She suggests using a prologue to add backstory of the world and the godswar.  I don't know.  I've resisted putting in a prologue so far.  I plan to write on, just in case some editor or agent wants to see it.  But I still feel a novel needs to open strong and be focused on the plot, like chapter 1 is.
  She also suggested making the Sorcerer a stronger villian earlier on and delaying the 'reveal'.  I don't disagree with that.  She also suggests moving Calleen's scene to earlier in the trip.  I'll have to see if I can do that.  It should be possible, though I don't know if I want that happening right on the heels of Isaac's defection.  Still, it's a good thought.
  I should be able to incorporate most of her feedback into the fourth draft.
  Tonight, I finish the second draft and chip away a bit more on the third.

  I didn't get time to finish the last chapter + denouement last night.  Instead, I was revising chapter 5 for my online writing group.  I spent 3 hours doing just one chapter...oy.   By contrast, doing 'just' a read-aloud pass of chapter 35 and 36 took only two hours.  Now, granted, chapter 5 is a big one.  It's 6800 words (help me, I can't stop).  It could probably be broken into two chapters. It probably even should, except it would break the structure I created for this novel.  (One chapter from Jacob's POV, one chapter from Jael's....I'm  kicking myself for doing that, now that I'm editing.)
  The night started out so well.  Me in my Throne of Writing(tm).  I vanquished 'looked', an old foe of mine.  I cut 'felt' down to size and made it fit more comfortably.  Then I looked at 'was' and I despaired.  I used 'was' a LOT in this novel and this chapter in particular. 
  I racked my brain for hours, trying to rephrase dozens of sentences so they didn't use 'was'.  It was hard.  (see, there's another one!)  Just about all of my short, simple sentences used 'was'.
  I tamed, it, I think.  There were a few sentences where no other word fit.  Just so you know, if any of you ever end up reading Angel Odyssey and you get to chapter 5 and you find a 'was'...then you know that particular 'was' kicked my ass.
  So, that's the next part of my education I'm going to tackle.  How to beat 'was'.  If anyone has any books or online resources I should try, please email me or leave a comment.  (Strunk and White didn't help)
  Thanks. 
  Tonight is IM gaming night but tomorrow I'll be finishing the second draft novel. I promise.

  Chapter 36 is done and now we're up to the final climax.  This chapter 37 is the last chapter from Jacob's POV...unless I change the denouement.  We'll finally get to see the Great Eyrie and the Riders, the great Raptors and the dragons.  But that's to come.
  Chapter thirty six (I almost wrote thirty sex) is the final rite of passage for Jacob.  Sex.  I didn't go hard core, for obvious reasons, but I didn't just pull the curtains and fade to black.  Hopefully it'll be honest and not exploitative.  I didn't go to the extremes but it's not G-rated.  I guess we'll see how readers take it.  I think after all this waiting, people will want more than just a kiss on the lips.  I know I would.
  After that, we get Jael's POV again.  After several chapter's absence.  Which was the reason I went with the structure I did (One chapter from Jacob, one chapter from Jael).  I wanted readers to get the feeling that Jael really was gone once we stop seeing her POV every other chapter.  We'll see if it works and if it's worth the frustration editing this novel and trying to keep that structure.
  But that's not the only climax here, pardon the pun.  We also have the final confrontation with the Sorcerer.  I know I'm subjective, but I really love these last few chapters.  I love these characters and it may sound weird but I love letting them earn their happy ending. (or bittersweet ending.  Parting is such sweet sorrow...)  I think all these moments work well but again I'll have to see what readers think....assuming anyone ever gets this far.
  Sigh.  Still haven't gotten anyone to finish this bloody thing and give me feedback.
  Ok, end spoilers.

  I had a good, productive pair of hours.  I finished chapter 34 and 35 last night.  Then I got burned out and distracted before I could switch gears and try writing something else.  (I need my own room to write in.  Fortunately, that may be happening, soon.)  Still, two chapters done.  I'm pretty proud of these chapters with Jacob at Basal Mount.  He sounds much more adult and the pacing works much better than in the earlier chapters.
  Speaking of, I am trying to decide if I should try delicate surgery on chapter 2 or if I should just gut it and start from scratch, basically.  In Smooth Running, too much tinkering made the scenes sound choppy.  I had to completely re-write my beginning chapters to make them sound connected and nautural.  I have a feeling I'm going to have to do that with Chapter 2, 3, 4, and probably half of 5.  Oh well, it'll be worth it. I just need to put my head down and do it.
  I'll try surgery first, though.  If that doesn't work, I'll have to bust out the literary chainsaw and build it again.  Whether it's a scalpel or power tools, I think the fourth draft is going to read much better.  I have some good ideas about how to telegraph the threat to Jael, earlier.  I think it's cheesy but I guess people like cheese.  I don't know.  I liked the slow exploration of the world and the characters.  I liked that the urgent need to flee the farm came from an innocent trip to town.  But I guess attention spans, even of readers, have dropped.  They want plot and action up front.  Rabble.

  The past few days have been focused on doing critiques for my writing groups but I still managed to finish chapter 32 and 33.  I'm getting close to the end and I'm thinking about my third and fourth drafts. 
  The third draft is where I usually fix plot and pacing issues.  There are a few to be looked at.  In particular I need to look at the early chapters, which are so important to hooking a reader.  I need to add a bit more drama and threat.  I need to make sure my scenes do two or three things.  I need to make sure my readers aren't bored.  I may also need to do this to the middle chapters.  I don't want a middle 'boring' section.
  The fourth draft is where I add the 'magic'.  I add all the details and quirks that make it feel like a fantasy novel.  All the pixies and prowling overhead show up in my fourth draft.
  Then there's a final copy-edit before I send it out, a final typo hunt.
  I mention all this because I'm sending out Chapter 1 again.  It is going to do double duty:  It's going to be my submission to the Fairwood writer's conference at Norwescon and I'm using it as part of my application to Clarion West.
  That's a lot of weight on my first chapter or two.  So, I might work on that tonight: do all my revision drafts on chapters 1 and 2 and then go on to chapter 34.

  Last night was IM gaming night, so lots of writing done but not a lot that adds to my craft or advances Angel Odyssey.
  Tonight, I have a couple of stories to critique but after that I should be able to finish chapter 32 and maybe make some progress on chapter 33.  I've decided to stop my habit of breaking with each chapter.  It's a bad use of time.  If I have time to write/edit, I should be trying to get as far as I can, not just reaching some arbitrary limit and stopping.  I think that's the most useful thing about that Kevin J. Anderson conference call.*
  Don't get me wrong, it was very generous of KJA to donate his time and energy to doing a conference calls for a bunch of aspiring authors like myself.  It's just that I knew most of the stuff he talked about.  No, knowing isn't doing, I realize that.  But I was hoping...I don't know, that there'd be more I could take away from the conference call.  So many of the 11 points were stuff like: keep writing, defy the empty page, make sure you have a comfortable writing environment.
  He did answer one of my questions, but the answer he gave was one I 'knew' the answer to.  (Basically he suggested all my scenes should do double duty: advancing the plot and showing character or performing world building.  I'll buy that but it means reworking a bunch of Angel Odyssey....which I shouldn't complain about.  I sorta knew I'd have to.  Sorta.)
  Anyway, it was a good conference call but maybe I shouldn't be looking for some 'new' bit of advice and work more on applying the things I 'know'.


* The conference call has been recorded and is posted at http://farlandswritersgroups.com/viewtopic.php?f=101&t=1324. You have to be a member of the forum to access this site, but you do not have to join a writing group, there is no cost or commitment.