Well, I spend three hours last night revising chapter 3. I'm still not happy with it but it's ALMOST ready for another round of critiques. It's the second time we see Jacob's POV and I feel that I need to show some of Jacob's normal life before we wrench him away from home. I need him to see Jael, whole if not wholly healthy, for the first time. I need to have him told about the marriage-bond. I'd like to show his family as well, a person is always greatly affected by their home life.
The problem is, I'm not sure I'm doing it well. I've said it before but I'm almost tempted to cut chapter 3 entirely and see if readers can still follow the plot. Chapter 4, Jael's second POV chapter, is much better in my opinion.
Rabble.
This draft, I added a bit more lurking menace, with Luther. But in the cold (very cold) light of this morning, I don't think I like Jael's handling of that situation. The problem is, Jael ran and hid, with Jacob's help. That doesn't feel very heroic. I'm going to go back and re-write that page. I need to show Luther and Yeremi and maybe someone else coming on to Jael.
On the other hand, Jael knows full well how weak and defenseless she is. So I have to show her brave but helpless but I can't go so far with it as to overshadow the big confrontation in Chapter 7 and the lesser one in chapter 5. That's the problem with some of these revision changes. They weren't part of the first draft, so their inclusion is a bit rough. It needs polish.
All this over one chapter. But it's one of the first chapters, so it has to be perfect. And, right now, it's not. Ah well, back to work tonight and then on to
The problem is, I'm not sure I'm doing it well. I've said it before but I'm almost tempted to cut chapter 3 entirely and see if readers can still follow the plot. Chapter 4, Jael's second POV chapter, is much better in my opinion.
Rabble.
This draft, I added a bit more lurking menace, with Luther. But in the cold (very cold) light of this morning, I don't think I like Jael's handling of that situation. The problem is, Jael ran and hid, with Jacob's help. That doesn't feel very heroic. I'm going to go back and re-write that page. I need to show Luther and Yeremi and maybe someone else coming on to Jael.
On the other hand, Jael knows full well how weak and defenseless she is. So I have to show her brave but helpless but I can't go so far with it as to overshadow the big confrontation in Chapter 7 and the lesser one in chapter 5. That's the problem with some of these revision changes. They weren't part of the first draft, so their inclusion is a bit rough. It needs polish.
All this over one chapter. But it's one of the first chapters, so it has to be perfect. And, right now, it's not. Ah well, back to work tonight and then on to
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