Ok, chapter 6 is way, way too long. I got bored reading it aloud. It needs to be restructured and broken up into two or maybe three smaller chapters. Some passages should be cut entirely and the beginning needs to be re-worked.
On the good side, very few typos for the length.
Jacob's mother is feeling very two-dimensional to me. She has a traditional, subservient attitude that is likely appropriate for the world but isn't very interesting to read. On the other hand, she isn't in much of the story. Gripping hand, she needs to be as real and as interesting as anyone else who lives in this world. So, more work needed on her.
I'd like to say I'm ripping through the pages but to be honest, chapter six was so long I got tired and went to bed early. I know, lazy writer. I'll try to better tonight. At least I'm spotting the problems before my critique group writers are, though I'm sure they'll find more. So much to do and August is starting to slip away as well. I'm wondering if I'll get this revised and presentable by the end of October after all. Maybe I should be dropping my extra-curricular activities? Maybe it's time to stop gaming, but of course, doing that means dropping my friends and after 20-odd years, I'm not sure I want to do that.
I guess I'll have to work harder and longer.
On the good side, very few typos for the length.
Jacob's mother is feeling very two-dimensional to me. She has a traditional, subservient attitude that is likely appropriate for the world but isn't very interesting to read. On the other hand, she isn't in much of the story. Gripping hand, she needs to be as real and as interesting as anyone else who lives in this world. So, more work needed on her.
I'd like to say I'm ripping through the pages but to be honest, chapter six was so long I got tired and went to bed early. I know, lazy writer. I'll try to better tonight. At least I'm spotting the problems before my critique group writers are, though I'm sure they'll find more. So much to do and August is starting to slip away as well. I'm wondering if I'll get this revised and presentable by the end of October after all. Maybe I should be dropping my extra-curricular activities? Maybe it's time to stop gaming, but of course, doing that means dropping my friends and after 20-odd years, I'm not sure I want to do that.
I guess I'll have to work harder and longer.
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