I completed the second draft up to and including chapter 30. Chapter 30's a fun one. It's the romance chapter. Unfortunately, it's followed by Chapter 31 which is...well...not anti-romance but certainly not the kind of day Jacob was looking forward to after the previous night. (no, they didn't go all way, not yet. A good third base hit, though....)
Still, there's something not quite right about the romance angle, even after I fiddled around and added a few paragraphs to chapter 30. Maybe it was the speed which I wrote this at, by this point I was popping around pretty good, about 5k words a night. It just needs more polish. I'd love to get a woman's perspective on Jael's chapters here. I'm also concerned that I'm actually not focued on Jael enough from Jacob's POV.
In chapter 28, I think, Jael ripped open the bond to flood Jacob with her strength, to help him win verses Luther and Zechariah. Since then, Jael has been unable to control the bond or her emotions. I don't think I'm putting that across correctly. I think I need to either go back in my third draft and tweak those chapters, to show more mutual understanding and emotional connection, or I need to go the opposite direction: Maybe after flooding so much of her strength into Jacob, Jael would instinctively retract/retreat and now they can't feel each other much at all. That would force them to relate to each other without 'cheating', like real people do in the real world. But it's also less 'magical' and unique.
Hmm, need to think about that...
Tonight, Chapter 31, the Basal Mount and the Castellan. This is the last great challenge Jacob has to overcome. Should be good.
Still, there's something not quite right about the romance angle, even after I fiddled around and added a few paragraphs to chapter 30. Maybe it was the speed which I wrote this at, by this point I was popping around pretty good, about 5k words a night. It just needs more polish. I'd love to get a woman's perspective on Jael's chapters here. I'm also concerned that I'm actually not focued on Jael enough from Jacob's POV.
In chapter 28, I think, Jael ripped open the bond to flood Jacob with her strength, to help him win verses Luther and Zechariah. Since then, Jael has been unable to control the bond or her emotions. I don't think I'm putting that across correctly. I think I need to either go back in my third draft and tweak those chapters, to show more mutual understanding and emotional connection, or I need to go the opposite direction: Maybe after flooding so much of her strength into Jacob, Jael would instinctively retract/retreat and now they can't feel each other much at all. That would force them to relate to each other without 'cheating', like real people do in the real world. But it's also less 'magical' and unique.
Hmm, need to think about that...
Tonight, Chapter 31, the Basal Mount and the Castellan. This is the last great challenge Jacob has to overcome. Should be good.
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