I did a radical re-write of chapter 3. In fact, chapter 3 is now about 1330 words and takes place entirely in Jacob's room. Chapter 4 is about as long and takes place almost entirely in the living room. Chapter 5 actually gets them out into the garden. Combined, all three chapters take up fewer pages than the original chapter 3.
It's a rough draft but it seems to read pretty well. It's faster paced and the threat to Jael is more obvious and more sinister than 'just' rapacious locals. Does this work better? I don't know. I need to do a couple more drafts of these 'new' chapters, I need to add some details and make certain the characterization hasn't drifted. (For better or for worse, Jael as I first wrote her feels different from the Jael I'm writing now.)
What got added? Lots of stuff, actually. Almost all the dialog is new, except for the 'elephant' speech. That was one darling I wasn't ready to kill yet. Jael confides in Jacob explicitly and asks for his help in concealing her weakness. Jacob asks better questions and sound a bit older, I think.
What got cut? A lot of the world building and family details got removed. Much of the detail about the house, Jacob's treasures, his wood carving expertise got cut. Some details now gone might be able to be sprinkled back in. Honestly, I need to go back and read Eye of the World again and see how Jordan did it. He has a huge book and spends a tremendous amount of time world-building (better maybe than anyone this side of George Martin has) but he still has his early pacing about right. At about 10% of the way into the novel, Trollocs attack Rand and his father. That incident kicks off his need to leave his home. If Jordan can do it, if he can hit his 'inciting incident' 10% of the way in, I can.
I'm excited and discouraged about this revision. Discouraged about all the things I liked that are going to get cut and excited to actually be writing again, as opposed to just re-reading and editing.
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